My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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