you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
