God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
