I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
