idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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