he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
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