I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
