i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
