i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize