if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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