I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
You can't just leave with hair like that
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Randomize
