hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
