she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
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Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
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Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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