What did we do last night that was yellow?
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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