sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
