You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I need a burrito and a hug.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
