help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
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He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
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We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I deserve this hangover.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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