I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
