Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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