Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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