Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
