i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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