he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
jump out the window naked night went bad
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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