Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
this beer tastes like vomit already
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
it's like iHOP with fire
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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