I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
