she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize