why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
The convent might be a nice break from real life
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
