I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
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For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
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We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize