he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
You made out with two different species that night
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Randomize
