I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
