i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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