just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
