sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
