miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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