Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
