you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
