Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything about him screamed your future.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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