we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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