Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
