mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
