The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Randomize
