just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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