I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Randomize
