i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Randomize
