your room smells of hookers.
And success
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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