i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
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