And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
