I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
So here I am, sexting at work.
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