im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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