is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize