I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
