It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
