Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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