I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
