...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize