just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
you never un-have a 4some
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
