You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
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