Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
he had hair everywhere except his balls
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
