So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
