You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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