Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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