Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
